7 Common Struggles Children of Narcissists Talk About the Most

Growing up as children of narcissistic parents can leave a mark that sticks around for years. Even long after childhood, those early experiences shape how people think, feel, and relate to others. A lot of the same topics keep coming up when people talk about what it was like. These aren’t random memories. They’re patterns that affect friendships, jobs, and romantic relationships. Some of these struggles feel confusing at first, but naming them is a big step toward healing. Once people start talking about it, they often realize they’re not alone. These shared experiences can bring a lot of clarity. Here are seven things children of narcissistic parents often mention, and why these topics tend to stick around.

1. Never Feeling Good EnoughOne of the most common struggles for children of narcissistic parents is feeling like nothing is ever enough. Narcissistic parents often expect perfection or keep changing the rules. It can feel like the finish line keeps moving no matter how hard you try. Praise was rare or felt like it came with strings attached. This creates a deep sense of doubt that doesn’t just disappear in adulthood. People might look confident on the outside but still question their worth inside. That voice in their head might sound just like their parent, pointing out flaws and mistakes. Even big accomplishments don’t always feel satisfying. That pressure shows up at work, in friendships, and in relationships. Talking about it can be the first step to realizing you deserve love without having to earn it.

 Feeling Invisible in Their Own Family

A lot of people describe feeling like they didn’t really matter growing up. Their thoughts and feelings were ignored unless they made the parent look good. Speaking up often led to being dismissed, scolded, or made fun of. So over time, many learned to stay quiet just to keep the peace. That silence turns into a habit, even when they grow up. It’s hard to ask for what you need when you’re used to being ignored. Some avoid conflict so much they become people-pleasers without even realizing it. Others feel uncomfortable being the center of attention, even in safe settings. Feeling unseen becomes a normal part of life. Realizing this pattern is a big step toward finding your voice again.

3. Guilt for Setting Boundaries

Saying “no” can feel wrong when you grew up being told it was selfish. Narcissistic parents often saw boundaries as disrespect or rejection. So even small things like turning down an invitation can feel really uncomfortable. Some people apologize all the time, even when they’ve done nothing wrong. Others second-guess their choices, wondering if they’re being too harsh. That guilt runs deep and can show up in many areas of life. It makes it hard to take care of yourself without feeling bad about it. But boundaries are not mean or cold. They’re actually a sign of self-respect. Over time, many children of narcissistic parents learn that it’s okay to protect their peace without feeling guilty.